Beach Dreams

Kasey cracks me up. My mom bought the boys some goggles. They LOVE goggles and they can't wait to use them. I went in to tuck him in before I went to bed and this is what I found. How can he sleep with those on?

Beautiful Butterflies!

We went to the zoo last week, specifically to see the butterfly exhibit they have there for a few weeks. We went last year and the kids had a blast. Your not supposed to touch them because their wings are really fragile but last year the "guard" wasn't such a stiff and the kids were able to gently hold them in their hands. They wanted to stay in there for a long time and their eyes lite up the hold time. BUT, this time the "guard" was a stickler and was on us every second. Needless to say, it wasn't as fun for the kids but they still enjoyed it. And, because...well you know...I'm such a deviant...I kept a close lookout for the lady and let the kids touch them when she wasn't looking. These butterflies are beautiful. If you are still enough, they will come sit on your shoulder. One sat on my shoulder and hat and Jordan had a giggle fit.


Kasey GENTLY reaching for one. Can you see the look of concentration on his face?


Kasey was looking over, under and around this butterfly. He sat still there for quite a long time.


Jordan was so funny. He would put his face up to the flower where one was sitting and a couple of them actually would move up to his nose and flutter their wings on his face.


Jordan concentrating on being gentle.



There was this one bush where for some reason a lot of butterflies would congregate. There are about 4 on this one flower.



What is so interesting about these butterflies is that one wing is exactly the same in color and alignment with the other. The detail is amazing (at least I think so).





There was this bird who would follow every move the boys made. They had this fork they put up to the glass and I think the crane thought it was food. It would twist it's head almost all the way around to get at it. As you can see, the kids were in hysterics. It was a good day!!

Creatures everywhere

Jordan had his "family fun day" at his preschool the other day. It's a great day of fun for the kids. They had a room filled with lots of animals. The boys loved this alligator, especially Kasey. He was facinated by it's claws and kept touching them.



This snake loved Jordan...or should I say loved Jordan's warm belly. This snake started out with just it's end in there and slowly wrapped itself around his shirt and was almost totally inside it. Jordan just giggled the whole time. I was a little freaked out but the lady assured me it was okay...Funny!


This is how the snake started...



Now any of you that know me very well know I hate snakes. I am petrified by their very presence. Even a garden snake will make me run for the hills, as my kids will tell you when they pick one up in the yard and chase me with it. Jordan wanted me to get a close up of the snake's head...ughhhhhh, you have no idea what it took for me get this shot.



Kasey loved the snakes head and kept pinching and staring at it. I thought this picture was cute.




As this snake was wrapping itself around my childs neck, the lady was explaining how these snakes like to squeeze their prey to death....uh...hello?? uhhhhhh....anyone?



It was a fun day! And the kids had a GREAT time. All the way home in the car Jordan kept saying "mommy I just love family fun day." I love it too. The YMCA has a great preschool program and Jordan has loved every minute of it...now off to Kindergarten, as mommy secretly cries because her baby is growing up way to fast!


This is a little video of the snake going under Jordan's shirt.

Vacationland

We went away this weekend to the "vacationland" state of Maine for Memorial Day. Specifically, we went to Old Orchard Beach and Kennebunkport. I love Maine. It's so pretty. You can hunt Moose in the mountains or ride a schooner on the Ocean. We had been to Old Orchard Beach about 9 years ago and loved it. It's kind of like the Coney Island of Maine. It has a beautiful beach with a Pier, shops and an amusment park. There are also tons of little cottages and motels along the shore. The picture above is of the kids under the pier the first day we got there. It was rather chilly so I didn't bring their bathing suits thinking they wouldn't want to go in the water...! Have I learned anything from being a mom? Nope. Kasey soon tripped and fell face first into the mud, and it was all over from that point on. Of course we had to carry them shivering back to the car in nothing but their skimpies!


More fun under the Pier.



There are A LOT of motorcycles and old muscle cars that ride along the main strip. Both my boys were in Heaven. Especially Kasey, he LOVES motorcyles. These guys were really nice and let both kids sit on their bikes. Doesn't the "no shirt look" really make the shot??



Next stop was the Portland Lighthouse. This is one of the oldest in the world and was commissioned by George Washington in 1791. It's beautiful.




Scott and the boys standing next to the fog horn.



We took a hike around the cliffs there and then climbed down to the rocks. My kids love playing with the rocks. They'd much rather do this then ride amusment park rides. Hopefully we're teaching them to appreciate it.



Kasey throwing rocks. I think this must of been about his 100th one! By the time we left, I had a rock collection in my pockets. "Mommy can we take this rock home? Mommy can we take this one too?"


Kasey on the motorcycle ride. Yup, he loves em'.



Next stop was the Trolley Museum in Kennebunkport Maine. Once again, my kids love trucks, trains, cars, rockets etc...This museum was perfect. They got to ride on a trolley and see/climb on about 30 more. These date back as far as 1906. Some of them are pretty worn down and are being restored...like this one above. It had a double deck AND a rope protecting it from any little kiddies wanting to climb aboard. BUT, since I'm a deviant, Scott and I told them to hurry and run up there for a picture before the guy came.


This one still had the door handle operating so the kids took many opportunities to open the door and shut the door...open the door and shut the door. I had to stand at the door and ask for them to let me on. Charge?... 5 cents.




Kasey in the back of one of the trollies.

We had a great time and it's always good to get away and "explore" as my kids call it. Kennebunkport is also the summer home of the Senior President and Barabara Bush. They were at the parade that morning, but we missed them. Hope you all had a good holiday weekend.

Just Because it's Funny

I found this picture as I was browsing through the pictures on my computer. I thought it was funny so thought I would post it. This is Myself, Scott, my brother Mark, and my nephew Adam on a ride at Seaworld about 4 years ago. I just love all the expressions on all our faces. Poor Adam looks petrified.

Smiles on Mothers Day

I am a mother. I never thought I would be one. As I write that, tears come to my eyes. For me, the pain of infertility is never far from my mind. I want to keep that pain close; for it reminds me how lucky I am to have these two beautiful boys in my life. Growing up as a girl I think our society and religious beliefs tie our self-esteem and destiny with that of being a mother(at least this is how I felt). So for me, infertility was an extreme internal struggle for self-worth. I think as women we always believe that one day, we will be a mother. And when that doesn't happen when we think it should or at all, we tend to struggle. I was reminded constantly that things happen when and if they should when and if the time is right. This was a long time in the making.

So, what have I learned? First and foremost I learned of the unconditional love a mother has. I learned this from my mother who gave selflessly ALL her life to her children. My mom had 5 kids, one of which was severely handicapped. She never thought of herself. She gave all to her family and still does. I don't remember my mother ever doing/getting anything for herself. I now understand that love. She is my hero.

I have also learned through my struggles with infertility and motherhood:

that my body can take more pain then I thought it could
that my mind can take more sorrow than I thought it could
that my marriage is strong
that my husband loves me above all else including himself
that I am extremely blessed
that anger and frustration are powerful emotions that should be kept in check regularly
that the loss of a child is painful, but that families can be together forever
that I would go through hell and back to protect my children
that my kids love me like no other and at this age depend on me for their happiness
that hugs and kisses and the words I love you from my boys can heal my pain and bring me peace
that words of anger can hurt my children more then a raised hand
that love is undconditional and sacred
that Jordan should not, in all medical terms, have made it into this world. But he did and I must be pretty darn special he picked ME.
that my boys have the sweetest spirits in the world and I better take care of those spirits

I'm not the best mother. Motherhood is hard for me. In fact I am sometimes down on myself thinking I'm not a good one at all, but I'm trying. In retrospect, since I can't have anymore children, I think Heavenly Father listened to my heart but also knew how much I could take. And I can't be selfish. My kids are wonderful, handsome, smart, creative, happy, loving children and they love me. My husband treats me like a queen and is the most loving, forgiving man I have ever met....and that's enough for me.

Cherry Blossoms everywhere

We have a Cherry Blossom tree in our yard that is in full bloom. It's beautiful. Unfortunately, it also brings misery with my horrible allergies, including a trip to the doctors last week due to difficulty breathing. BUT, it's so pretty I won't be bringing out the axe too soon. I love Jordan in this picture. I love his smile.




Kasey has been doing this "squish up his nose" smile lately. He does it every time. I can't believe how grown up Kasey is looking lately. I'm still going to pretend he's "my little baby boy" for a little while longer though.




There's also this other little bush next to the tree. It has dark red leaves and tiny pink flowers on it. I'm not sure what it is. Any gardners out there want to give it a name? Anyway, it's also really pretty.



My handsome princes. Happy Spring.